The last day of suffering (September, 2019)
Gesso, flat ceiling paint, semi-gloss waterbased enamel paint, permanent marker and graphite on board
289 x 252 mm
Note to self in diary (circled, affirmed, crossed out, again) projected and enlarged to scale into artwork.
The following text was written by Nicholas Lane as a response to the artwork:
Response to ‘The last day of suffering’ (September 2019) by Benji Hartfield. January 2020.
Gesso, flat ceiling paint, semi-gloss waterbased enamel paint, permanent marker and graphite on board.
289 x 252 mm.
As described on the artist’s website; ‘note to self in diary (circled, affirmed, crossed out, again), projected and enlarged to scale into artwork.
——
‘The last day of suffering’ by Benji Hartfield encapsulates the emotional turmoil felt in the months following the breakup between the artist and his lover.
The work began with the artist writing the words ‘the last day of suffering’ in his diary and encircling it, emphasizing its significance. Later he revisited the entry and crossed out the words a few times. Before the end of that day, he crossed each part of the sentence out once more, with two swift and definitive lines. Recognizing a conceptual richness the artist redrew this entry; manifesting it as an artwork.
On a thin wooden board painted white the words ‘the last day of suffering’ are written in gold paint. Two strong black lines of a permanent marker streak through the separated clause, and a few fainter lines of a graphite pencil follow.
Inside the frame the board is mounted a few centimeters above the background. Responding to the light, a small shadow emerges elevating the sense of importance the messages carries.
The gold hand-writing on white background gives reverence to the message. Two sharp, assertive black lines shatter this reverence like a bull in a china shop, exposing the impossibility of an occurrence such as the ‘last day of suffering’.
Maybe only the day of our death, symbolized in those dark, black lines, could be considered the true last day of suffering?
‘The last day’ trails upwards, and ‘of suffering’ is written with a noticeable curvature; a sentence written with complete ignorance to the structure of the lines on the page. Too subtle to be deliberate, it suggests an overwhelming desire to capture the sudden and overwhelming peace found by the artist in that moment.
The diary page attached to the back of the artwork shows the original entry scribbled in a random spot two-thirds the way down a piece of paper otherwise filled with disparate notes written about people to call and jobs to do at all different angles. This and the random line break (The last day / of suffering) denote the fever with which this entry was written.
The circle intended to place emphasis on this statement never closes; each end of the line never meeting. Maybe the artist’s subconscious was unable to emphasise something it knew to be impossible?
The emotion in this piece shows how earnestly the artist felt this was his last day of suffering; beautifully capturing the moment he discovered smooth waters amongst rough seas recently sailed.
This work reminds me of the importance of embracing every one of the emotions we encounter in life. The idea that you can only bask in the warm glow of joy, euphoria, or love if you embrace equally the cold gusts of loneliness, disappointment, or grief.
‘The last day of suffering’ provides a lesson in this philosophy. Deep in the despair of love lost the artist seeks to renounce his suffering. When he does he finds calm waters fleeting and rough seas returning swiftly. In crossing out the statement he accepts suffering as a natural part of the human condition.
It’s our consciousness that allows us to recognize and experience our emotions viscerally. Consciousness cannot be turned on and off like a lightbulb. Escaping the bad means losing the good. So we realise suffering is our price for consciousness, but that consciousness is the key to joy.
In this way it’s not the last day of suffering but rather the liberation from suffering that the artist captures in this work. Recognising the inevitability of suffering offers freedom from its shackles.
Once a sailor stuck in the nauseating rise and fall of a boat upon raging seas, we now float, soaring, a bird above the waves. We still observe the boat upon the raging sea. We might feel the ocean spray as the bigger waves crash into the hull. But we remain steadier in flight than we would upon the deck.
With this perspective the artwork’s symbolism takes on new meanings. Intended by the artist to place emphasis, the circle could now symbolize one feeling trapped within a perpetual suffering. Being a sailor stuck on the boat in rough seas. The small gap where the circle doesn’t close is now representative of the only true path to liberation; acknowledging and accepting the inevitability of suffering, and the ephemerality of emotions. Morphing, sailor to bird, soaring above the waves.
Consider a moment this work hanging from the wall of a popular gallery. Could it be said that every visitor who observed the work had found the same liberation the artist has? What if someone in the midst of suffering were to look at the work again the next day and read the same words again feeling the same way? Where there is one liberated from suffering another is always deep within the throngs of it.
In this sense the words are crossed as a reminder that we’ll never collectively encounter the last day of suffering. Whilst we might be liberated from our own suffering there are always others around us who are not. In this the work evokes a deep empathy towards others. We recognise suffering as an intrinsic part of the human condition, and in doing so it becomes a window to connection.
I’ve encountered loss, grief, trauma, loneliness, and many more of the emotions suffering comprises. In observing, accepting, and embracing these emotions I’ve found peace. In being empathetic to the suffering others experience I’ve found connection. In both peace and connection, I’ve found joy.
By Nicholas Lane.
The last day of suffering (September, 2019)
Gesso, flat ceiling paint, semi-gloss waterbased enamel paint, permanent marker and graphite on board
289 x 252 mm
Note to self in diary (circled, affirmed, crossed out, again) projected and enlarged to scale into artwork.
The following text was written by Nicholas Lane as a response to the artwork:
Response to ‘The last day of suffering’ (September 2019) by Benji Hartfield. January 2020.
Gesso, flat ceiling paint, semi-gloss waterbased enamel paint, permanent marker and graphite on board.
289 x 252 mm.
As described on the artist’s website; ‘note to self in diary (circled, affirmed, crossed out, again), projected and enlarged to scale into artwork.
——
‘The last day of suffering’ by Benji Hartfield encapsulates the emotional turmoil felt in the months following the breakup between the artist and his lover.
The work began with the artist writing the words ‘the last day of suffering’ in his diary and encircling it, emphasizing its significance. Later he revisited the entry and crossed out the words a few times. Before the end of that day, he crossed each part of the sentence out once more, with two swift and definitive lines. Recognizing a conceptual richness the artist redrew this entry; manifesting it as an artwork.
On a thin wooden board painted white the words ‘the last day of suffering’ are written in gold paint. Two strong black lines of a permanent marker streak through the separated clause, and a few fainter lines of a graphite pencil follow.
Inside the frame the board is mounted a few centimeters above the background. Responding to the light, a small shadow emerges elevating the sense of importance the messages carries.
The gold hand-writing on white background gives reverence to the message. Two sharp, assertive black lines shatter this reverence like a bull in a china shop, exposing the impossibility of an occurrence such as the ‘last day of suffering’.
Maybe only the day of our death, symbolized in those dark, black lines, could be considered the true last day of suffering?
‘The last day’ trails upwards, and ‘of suffering’ is written with a noticeable curvature; a sentence written with complete ignorance to the structure of the lines on the page. Too subtle to be deliberate, it suggests an overwhelming desire to capture the sudden and overwhelming peace found by the artist in that moment.
The diary page attached to the back of the artwork shows the original entry scribbled in a random spot two-thirds the way down a piece of paper otherwise filled with disparate notes written about people to call and jobs to do at all different angles. This and the random line break (The last day / of suffering) denote the fever with which this entry was written.
The circle intended to place emphasis on this statement never closes; each end of the line never meeting. Maybe the artist’s subconscious was unable to emphasise something it knew to be impossible?
The emotion in this piece shows how earnestly the artist felt this was his last day of suffering; beautifully capturing the moment he discovered smooth waters amongst rough seas recently sailed.
This work reminds me of the importance of embracing every one of the emotions we encounter in life. The idea that you can only bask in the warm glow of joy, euphoria, or love if you embrace equally the cold gusts of loneliness, disappointment, or grief.
‘The last day of suffering’ provides a lesson in this philosophy. Deep in the despair of love lost the artist seeks to renounce his suffering. When he does he finds calm waters fleeting and rough seas returning swiftly. In crossing out the statement he accepts suffering as a natural part of the human condition.
It’s our consciousness that allows us to recognize and experience our emotions viscerally. Consciousness cannot be turned on and off like a lightbulb. Escaping the bad means losing the good. So we realise suffering is our price for consciousness, but that consciousness is the key to joy.
In this way it’s not the last day of suffering but rather the liberation from suffering that the artist captures in this work. Recognising the inevitability of suffering offers freedom from its shackles.
Once a sailor stuck in the nauseating rise and fall of a boat upon raging seas, we now float, soaring, a bird above the waves. We still observe the boat upon the raging sea. We might feel the ocean spray as the bigger waves crash into the hull. But we remain steadier in flight than we would upon the deck.
With this perspective the artwork’s symbolism takes on new meanings. Intended by the artist to place emphasis, the circle could now symbolize one feeling trapped within a perpetual suffering. Being a sailor stuck on the boat in rough seas. The small gap where the circle doesn’t close is now representative of the only true path to liberation; acknowledging and accepting the inevitability of suffering, and the ephemerality of emotions. Morphing, sailor to bird, soaring above the waves.
Consider a moment this work hanging from the wall of a popular gallery. Could it be said that every visitor who observed the work had found the same liberation the artist has? What if someone in the midst of suffering were to look at the work again the next day and read the same words again feeling the same way? Where there is one liberated from suffering another is always deep within the throngs of it.
In this sense the words are crossed as a reminder that we’ll never collectively encounter the last day of suffering. Whilst we might be liberated from our own suffering there are always others around us who are not. In this the work evokes a deep empathy towards others. We recognise suffering as an intrinsic part of the human condition, and in doing so it becomes a window to connection.
I’ve encountered loss, grief, trauma, loneliness, and many more of the emotions suffering comprises. In observing, accepting, and embracing these emotions I’ve found peace. In being empathetic to the suffering others experience I’ve found connection. In both peace and connection, I’ve found joy.
By Nicholas Lane.
